2 What Is The Difference Between Happening-Truth And Story-Truth A Relationship CAN Survive After Infidelity

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A Relationship CAN Survive After Infidelity

Someone you trusted has betrayed you. How selfish can someone be? How ungrateful and inconsiderate? These may be some of the recurring thoughts that run through your mind when your significant other confesses or gets caught doing the unthinkable. However, there are a few things you should consider before pointing fingers. There’s one side of the story, then there’s another, then there’s the ugly truth.

“About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in a marriage.” State therapist, Peggy Vaughn, author of “The Monogamy Myth.” Infidelity is not uncommon in today’s society. It’s more common to be unfaithful or find a partner with easy-to-access internet dating sites.

However, through research and personal experience I have found that true love, true commitment, and honesty can protect a relationship from fostering adultery. To get started, you need to ask yourself some key questions and make some tough decisions.

First Question: The question will be the same regardless of whether you are cheater or cheater.

Question 1:

Are you really still in love with this person?

Love, not lust, infatuation, comfort, financial dependence, routine-dependence… Love. Just because they’ve been in your life for 2 years or 60 years doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. Regardless of age, if you’re unhappy, you can find someone else. However, if you absolutely, positively, undeniably love your man or woman, please see question 2.

Question 2:

Why did your significant other cheat?

You have to really consider the reality of this question. For example, yes the two-timing, nasty husband cheated on his wife… but what if the husband tells you that his wife stopped looking at him, commented on his weight, lack of success, and completely stopped having sex with him? Did? Flipside: Yes, that filthy slut slept on her poor working husband… but if she tells you the last time she had a romance was 4 years ago and the last time she saw him for more than 30 minutes was for a meal she let him eat, then He took 6 business calls before going to bed with an iPad on his lap followed by his early morning flight to Chicago.

Everyone knows there is a way to avoid cheating.. file for divorce, separate… but sometimes infidelity is a WAKE UP call.

Conclusion:

Decision 1:

If you are not in love with this person as we discussed earlier… break up. File for Divorce. Let’s go!! If you are clearly miserable with this person that you are not in love with… why are you with them? Be selfish, as they were, and make yourself happy. You only have one life and why use it trying to make a relationship work when there are millions of options waiting for you to take care of you! No excuses.. “We have kids, we have a house, we have a dog, we have a car, we have a joint cell phone plan, we have a gym membership, he/she has my CD..” The list goes on. Excuses are just excuses.. The only excuse that will allow you to repair your relationship is love. If you are still in love.. see decision 2.

Decision 2:

Ok, so once you’ve been cheated on (cheated on), you know you love the person you cheated on (or you cheated on), and you want to mend the relationship… you need to do 2 things:

1. You need to be completely honest about how you feel, what happened and with whom. On the account that it wasn’t your significant other’s family member you can go to 2.

2. This dilemma of your life that has destroyed you both must be buried. If you want the relationship to move forward, you must, under no circumstances, bring it up again.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has passions and urges that need to be fed. Often after someone cheats, they feel remorse and realize they have committed the ultimate crime of monogamy. This is understandable with intense guilt. Sometimes Am has an epiphany that goes something like, “I’ll never do this again, it wasn’t worth it, and I’ll forever try to keep what my partner wants.” They learn one of two things, they don’t deserve you or they need to take action to give you what you deserve.

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