A Life Story Includes The Notions Of Self-Esteem And Self-Image 3 Fast and Easy Ways to Improve Social Self-Confidence

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3 Fast and Easy Ways to Improve Social Self-Confidence

Believing that you are socially unacceptable or unlikable can be painful. A lack of confidence can make you afraid to interact socially. You may feel anxious when in situations where you will be observed by others or where you have to speak in front of a crowd or with strangers. It can make you behave awkwardly. You can avoid eye contact and behave very cautiously. The feeling that you are socially unacceptable may be reinforced when you feel that other people react to you in a strange way.

You may avoid social interaction as a result of the challenges you face even though you know that being in social spaces and interacting with others is a big part of anyone’s life. We cannot always avoid social situations in our daily lives. You may get invited to parties where friends are celebrating or colleagues at work are celebrating their birthdays. Avoiding social interaction is not always possible.

So how do you improve social confidence when you don’t have it? Before I tell you how, let me start by telling a short story about a mouse.

When you have a mouse in your house that eats your tomatoes and spoils your fruits. To catch it, you need to know how and when and where it works. If the house is infested with a piece of cheese in a mouse trap you want to catch it or put rat poison in places where mice are likely to hang around.

A similar approach applies to improving confidence. You need to understand how your mind works and what patterns you go through so you can interrupt those patterns and form new ones.

The first trigger is that mentally, you image doing something that will embarrass you. What you think is what you feel. Your thoughts make you feel anxious. When feeling anxious you respond by avoiding social interactions and the result is that you lack social confidence. So to overcome social anxiety you need to influence this pattern. Draw what the pattern looks like:

Social situation (Environment) – Image of embarrassment (Thinking) – Anxiety, fear (Feeling) – Avoidance (Reaction)

We know that we cannot change the external environment (sometimes you are in a social situation whether you like it or not). We can only influence ourselves internally in terms of how we respond to the external environment. Trying to avoid constant social situations can serve as a temporary solution. However, improving how you socialize doesn’t guarantee long-term success. What you can change are your thought processes, your feelings and your reactions.

Past failures can condition you to view every social situation you interact with as an anxiety trigger. We are human after all, we never want to go back to a burning candle once it burns out. So to help you improve social confidence you must first forget past failures and try to change how you approach social situations first. Here are 3 ways I’ve helped you overcome social anxiety and improve social interactions.

1. See social situations as opportunities by recalling past successes

Some successful sports teams have a tradition where they take players through past successes before a cup final. The players are shown previous cup finals before the match and take home all the trophies the team has won before. The team’s past success helps motivate the players to win another cup final for the team. If you’ve ever had past success interacting socially, use that as an anchor for yourself. Remember how you successfully delivered a presentation in front of an audience and communicated well with a stranger. Have you ever been in a situation where you gave a public speech and did well despite your fear? Time to refresh these memories in your mind. Remembering your past successes and celebrating past victories can help you believe in yourself and overcome current feelings of anxiety toward social interactions.

2. Use visualization to strengthen yourself for social situations

Access the power of your subconscious mind by constantly picturing yourself interacting well socially. This should not take long. Just spending 5 minutes imagining yourself approaching a stranger and having a pleasant conversation or photographing yourself giving a great public presentation can help. Once our mind is where we want to be, our body needs to support us in getting there. By mentally picturing yourself with social confidence, you’ll be able to better empower yourself to carry out your mental images in real life when the situation calls for it. Be warned though, visualization needs to be done before social interaction. Actively doing this when you’re interacting socially can be problematic because it forces you to think about what you’re doing. You’re more likely to feel anxious when you’re thinking about what you’re doing. So visualize before social interaction and try as much as possible to remain normal in social situations.

3. Make social interaction a challenging game of exposure

Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and that doesn’t help. To improve social anxiety you need to have a playful attitude at times. Use a playful attitude to express yourself socially. Exposure is scientifically proven to be very effective in improving social anxiety. I know this is the last thing you want to hear because when you are uncomfortable interacting socially the immediate response is to avoid social interaction. However, the more exposure you get to interacting socially, the better you will become. Aim to strike up a small conversation whenever you’re in a social situation with a stranger. It can be as simple as saying hello to a cashier when you pay for items at a store or while shopping. Just asking the cashier his name and thanking him for the service is enough to get you going.

Few of us remember to compliment the cashiers while shopping, you’ll make their day by simply showing appreciation and improving yourself equally. Try as much as possible to express yourself.

Petrol attendants are also good people to approach in a non-threatening environment to start a conversation. This is better done so that you see it as a challenge instead of being too serious and reading too much into the results. The more you bring it into your awareness to interact with others, the more you will open yourself up and improve how you interact socially.

Spending time with a friend who isn’t afraid to socialize can help in this situation. People learn by watching. If your anxiety is specific, like falling in public, ask a friend to pretend to fall in public so you can see that the consequences aren’t as bad as you thought. Express yourself without emotional attachment. Use a playful attitude with any friend who is comfortable interacting socially and has fun doing it. Practice makes perfect, the same is true when it comes to overcoming social anxiety.

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