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Five Keys to Gaining Absolute Self-Confidence
True confidence comes from believing in yourself and through actions that prove that belief. Today, based on what I have learned about self-confidence, I am able to do things that at one time I never thought I would or could do. Now it seems I can conquer the world! Let me take you back to my childhood and give you an insight into the “old me”.
When I was young, both my father and my teachers thought I was “dumb and stupid.” In their minds they thought I was mentally retarded and an IQ test “proved to them” that I was. However, such tests do not take into account the stress of external factors that contribute to low scores. And when you add the fact that I stutter, it only makes my so-called “dumbness” worse and lowers my confidence at the same time.
And yet, doing something that proved otherwise was crucial for me to reach a higher level of confidence. My martial arts training and playing Pop Warner football both helped. I realized that I was good at generating new ideas. So I went with those factors to build my own confidence. Talking to others will have to wait until I’m ready to express myself.
Finally I discovered my confidence in speaking too. What I won’t tell you is that simply giving unsolicited praise will build confidence. It will not. What I’m going to share here are the five keys I’ve discovered to achieving absolute confidence, and it will help you too:
1. Believe with all your might that you are worthy. When you believe in yourself, you begin to act like you deserve all that life has to offer. It is also the path of confident action.
2. Action is king in building the neuro-connections of confidence. Part of the work process is building the anatomy of confidence. Imagine how a very confident person would stand, walk and/or carry themselves. Now, imagine yourself doing the same thing and then do it.
3. Making mistakes. The more you do and as you learn from them, the more confidence you will gain. Finding out what works and what doesn’t work in a given situation will increase knowledge. This is a fallacy known to people as “common sense”. It all depends on the experience related to a given situation that will give them the necessary sense for it. Unless and until you have that experience and knowledge, it is not “common sense” to you.
4. Surround yourself with supportive people. This can include friends, mentors, associates and even customers/clients. I get a lot from my clients all the time. When they succeed after one of my suggestions, it helps build confidence in me.
5. Keep a scrapbook, binder of accomplishments, newspaper articles, testimonials, and more that showcase you! Like trophies and medals won by athletes, it will serve as a reminder that you can do things that deserve great praise. Although it is external in nature, it affects your subconscious mind. If you have written a book, keep it on the same topic.
Now, take each key and start developing the confidence you want in your life. Remember this, the more you do to build confidence, the more you will get. And keep doing it! BTW, New I have earned two doctorates, 5th degree blackbelt in Kenpo (and other blackbelts), written books, created successful (and some not so successful) business ventures, and more!
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