A-Story-That-Will-Convince-You-To-Stop Saying Let Me Know If You Need Anything My Husband Won’t Give Me a Second Chance and Says He Wants a Divorce

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My Husband Won’t Give Me a Second Chance and Says He Wants a Divorce

I sometimes come across women who are desperate for a second chance in their marriage, but their husbands are not only not giving them this second chance, they are demanding a divorce. This is a difficult situation because it places the wife in a unique position of vulnerability that is very difficult to overcome. Often, your mind is telling you that if you can just get your husband’s attention and even a small “in,” you can convince him to put all these divorce talks on hold until you can work something out. The problem is, though, if your marriage is in this dangerous place, your husband has probably stopped listening to you and no longer sees you as someone he wants to have deep conversations with or do things with.

I remember when I was in this situation myself and I used to say that talking to my husband was like talking to a tree. I would get no response or only a one syllable response that was meant to send me on my way and not waste any more of his time. I managed to get over it though and I think you can too.

If your husband won’t give your marriage a second chance, stop asking for it: Before you think I’ve lost my mind for saying this, please hear me out. I believe that chances are good that your husband has put your voice in block out mode. And, I also know from experience that this situation is so frustrating that it can drive you to act in very desperate and unexpected ways. Before you can stop yourself, you can engage, threaten and beg yourself. All these things definitely alienate your husband further and take you further away from your goals.

One way to break this cycle is to change completely. It may not seem like the right thing to do, and it may even seem risky. But, please believe me when I say that I can’t count how many people it has worked for. And, think about it, your current plan isn’t working either, so what do you have to lose?

Putting distance between you to ultimately bring you closer:When I say distance, I don’t mean physical distance in miles or individual households. Instead, I mean distance from the tension and desperate situations under your roof. Tensions need to be reduced and the opposing sides you’re with need to come together, so you can’t continue the way you are.

I generally suggest that at this point you agree with your spouse that the marriage is seriously unsatisfying to you as well and that you agree that a break might put things into perspective. Tell your husband that you realize that your actions have caused a distance between you and that you will no longer engage in behaviors that will continue this cycle. Reassure her that it’s not about changing her mind (you never know what the future holds), but that it’s too important for her to allow you to participate either way.

Many men will not believe you. All right. It’s up to you to show him that you mean what you say. Some husbands may even go ahead and move out of your home. It can be annoying, but trust the process. Distance can actually be a good thing if you play it right. Whether your husband is home or not, the key is to come forward as the best version of yourself and feel free to give the distance you’ve promised, because if done right, it will show your husband how much he misses you. .

I want you to think of the woman your husband loved first. Think about how close (or far) you are to that woman right now. I interact with many men on my blog and they overwhelmingly tell me that the main problem is that their wife is not the person they married. They married a light hearted, funny, and loving person and they can’t see him in front of them anymore. So, whatever your husband likes about you – your sense of humor, your empathy, your uncanny ability to “get” him and what he’s up to, make sure your husband sees that you still possess these qualities. It’s important because frankly, at this point, he’s sure this woman is gone forever, but if he can get her back, things could change for the better.

Being trustworthy and consistent:The main purpose of this distance concept is to move away from the woman who is expressing negative emotions and towards the woman your husband loved – who is capable of bringing positive emotions into him. Always remember this goal. Always present yourself as a woman who loves her husband but who respects herself enough to follow through with pauses. Look friends. Do whatever it takes to bring out the light, smiling woman I know lives inside of you and make sure your husband sees or hears about her.

Many times, I will see wives take the initial steps I suggest, only to find that their husbands begin to be receptive and they try to speed up the process by moving too quickly or demanding reassurance or commitment. Always remember you are going to have positive interactions. Don’t move too fast. Make your husband want more and move at a snail’s pace.

It’s important that you start to hold some energy so that you don’t get into any trouble. At best, eventually both of you will be equally committed to saving the marriage and will give it your all. This is the only way to achieve long-term success. You can and should have the tough conversations about resolving your issues after returning to a difficult marriage, but don’t try to do it too soon or it could backfire.

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