Beat Up By My Younger Sister Stories Site Www.Reddit.Com My Husband Is Always Comparing Me To Other Women – This Hurts Me – What Can I Do? Insights To Help

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My Husband Is Always Comparing Me To Other Women – This Hurts Me – What Can I Do? Insights To Help

I recently heard from a wife who was hurt by her husband’s constant comparisons between her and other women. Sometimes, he compares her with his sister, friend, colleague or acquaintance. Other times, he compared her to complete strangers. He had been trying to ignore it for a while, but lately, it was resenting and hating him so badly that it was affecting his marriage very negatively.

The wife said in part: “My husband compares me with everyone. And the comparison is never favorable. I am not as thin as my sister. I do not earn as much money as my colleagues. I am not as good. A mother as our neighbor. I am his Not as good a cook as my best friend’s wife. I’m not as good a lover as his old girlfriend. I cringe whenever we pass or discuss another woman. Her mouth opens. At first, I ignored her. , but it started happening all the time and became much more painful. And it makes me so angry that I’m afraid I’m going to go back. With the same crap. How does she like it if I compare her to other men? Will? I will never do that because it will hurt his feelings and he is my husband. But he doesn’t treat me the same. And when I call. him about this, he says I am very sensitive. It has reached a point where he Will openly look at other women in front of me. This is my b The marriage is hurting and I’m not sure how I can take it anymore. What do I do?”

After a little more explaining, it became clear to me that the husband would make these comments and the wife would withdraw and give him the cold shoulder for a short while afterwards. Over time, she learned that bringing it up would only lead to her husband accusing her of being overly sensitive. And if he tries to get back at her, she will get angry and things will get worse. So instead, he says nothing and she stews. This creates resentment and their marriage deteriorates. Increasingly, she avoided spending time with her husband because of these and other problems. So it was something that I felt had to be addressed and not left hoping that it would work itself out. In the next article, I will give some tips to understand why a husband might constantly compare you to other women and how to best deal with it.

Why a husband might compare his wife to other women: The wife could not understand why her husband was doing this. He didn’t act this way when they were dating. He started behaving like this within the last five years. There are various reasons why a husband may behave this way. Sometimes, it’s their passive aggressive way of getting your attention to something they want. And, they may say it’s about your parenting skills or your work ethic, but it’s usually about something else entirely.

Many men criticize you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. They often try to get your attention in the hopes that you’ll pay more attention to them or things in the house (as it’s unlikely to hear.) So they’ll often hit you less hard trying to push your buttons. Just get a response.

Other times, a man will point out your perceived flaws because he’s so self-aware. Sometimes, a man’s comparison to you is really driven by his own lack of self-esteem or his own anxiety. Sometimes, when I talk to men on the other side of this situation it’s clear that they try to put their wives down because they don’t think they deserve her. They secretly worry that if he knew how special she really is, he would leave her so one way to make sure that never happens is to point out his flaws. And sometimes men react to stress by criticizing who is most advantageous.

I am not defending this behavior. I’m just trying to let you know that if you’re in this situation, you can be sure that these comparisons don’t reflect on you. They reflect him and you have to decide if you want to change it, live with it or remove yourself from it. (My recommendation is to try to change it if you can.)

How to handle it when your husband always compares you to other women: In this situation, the wife did not want to move. She insists that her husband has other redeeming qualities. But he didn’t want to live like this, he didn’t deserve it. And every time her husband did it, her marriage got worse. I know he hesitated to face it because it seemed to only make things worse, but ignoring it made sure it was happening.

I suggested that the next time her husband compares her to someone else, she should make a note of it and vow to bring it up when things calm down. If you try to solve it when you’re hurt or angry, you risk making it worse. So, when everything is going well and you’re calm, it’s time to deal.

I suggest saying something to the effect of: “I need to discuss something with you that weighs heavily on me. I’m telling you this because I love you enough to care about our marriage and I don’t want to allow anything to. Screw it up. Yesterday. , you compared me to (fill in the blank.) It was hurtful and unnecessary. Honestly, it happens a lot. You don’t realize it, but you compare me to other people. And when you do, it makes me feel like I’m Not making you happy or wishing I were different. If something bothers you about me or our marriage, let’s talk about it. But I can’t let you keep comparing. I worry that over time, it will make me will bother. And I know you don’t want to hurt me. So, from now on, when it happens again, I’m going to get your attention and ask you what? Really bothers you.”

It’s just a suggestion. You can use the words that best suit your husband and your situation. But the key is to address it in a constructive way, opening the door for him to say what’s really bothering him, and letting him know that in the future, you’ll address it every time it happens. This lets him know that he cannot have another free pass to continue the comparison.

Sometimes, just approaching it when you’re both calm can inspire open communication that lets you get to the root of the problem. Because comparisons are often a good indicator that your husband is trying too hard to get your attention, and it can sometimes indicate some problems in your marriage that shouldn’t be ignored.

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