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Why Is He Scared of A Long Distance Relationship?
Are you ready to commit to long distance love and get your man’s feet cold? It’s a tough situation, but I think my experience can provide the right kind of advice for improving your long distance relationship. There are some very basic questions you need to ask yourself if she is afraid to enter into a relationship. I think my advice below will help you not only identify the problem, but also find a solution to it.
How well do you know each other? My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we couldn’t be happier. I think that has a lot to do with the amount of work we do in creating a real bond between us. It started with a lot of old fashioned “getting to know each other”. We went from A to B to C in a really stereotypical relationship. what do you do Where did you go to college? where are you from Simple things like that go a long way in learning about a person. Not only that, they get stuck into other conversations and topics that will create more links between you. Maybe your guy has some cold feet because he has reservations because his heart isn’t sure he knows you well enough to commit. I think a great place to start if your guy isn’t interested is asking if your foundation is well built.
Physical Connection – Another place to see if your man is committed to a long distance relationship is the strength of your physical connection, and more specifically, his needs. It can be hard to “feel out” but men need a physical connection with their partner and the definition of a long distance relationship makes this difficult.
Try to find out his physical needs without asking directly. You can get his cues by the amount of touch he gives you when the two of you are together. Is he constantly holding your hand or twirling your hair? How many times does he kiss you? How frequent is sexual interaction? I think you can get a pretty good idea of her needs by reading the clues you leave, but if not, it’s best to just come out and ask.
Be aware that talking about these kinds of things can be difficult if you’re not used to it, so tread lightly. Frame the conversation with small talk and then get out of it. Say something like, “We both have physical needs and I want to make sure you feel open to talking about yours.” This will ease any awkwardness and hopefully he’ll be able to articulate what’s going on from that perspective. If you don’t think it’s a lack of physical connection, or the two of you just don’t know each other well enough, let’s look at his other options for reasons why he’s afraid to commit.
The third issue would be his other options? Think about this long and hard because you can’t give the full story about why he’s not interested in jumping about a long distance. My honest suggestion is that he may be saying he is afraid to commit to an LDR when in reality he has other options. Her other options may include other love interests or wanting to be single.
I think the hardest to spot is the next one: wanting to be single. It’s basically him telling you, “I’d rather go solo than commit to a long distance relationship”. It’s hard to tell if he cares about you, though, especially if he cares about hurting your feelings. You must understand that the prospects of a long distance relationship are fairly dire so the long term gains must outweigh the inherent difficulty of an LDR.
He may also have another love interest in mind. It can be difficult to compete with especially if that other person lives in the same area. If you doubt that this event is better than yours, bring it up. “Are you afraid to enter into our relationship because there is someone else who is close to you?”, is a great question to ask. If you don’t ask and you suspect there is something like this than you will regret it because you will always wonder what is going on. You beat yourself up checking his Facebook every day to see if he’s in a relationship or has pictures of him with someone else. My advice is to be honest with yourself and analyze her situation; He may have another option which seems to him a better route.
In conclusion, the best long distance relationship advice is to be really honest in assessing where your relationship is in terms of how well the two of you know each other. He’s not going to commit to something that’s already stacked against him if he doesn’t feel like he knows you well enough. Also, think about his other options and consider the physical connection he will demand.
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