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4 Easy Steps To Romancing Your Self
When someone sets out to develop and strengthen their relationship with themselves, it is much like developing a new relationship with a potentially significant other.
Please think. When you first start dating someone new, you’re on your best behavior, making sure to only say nice things and be on your best behavior. You treat them with kindness and kindness and sweetness. That is, of course, if you want to see them again.
Let’s agree for the sake of this conversation that you want to spend more time with yourself, okay?
I know this may sound a bit silly, but if you’ve been disconnected from yourself for most of your adult life, you really need to get to know yourself again. You have changed over the years and you are not the same woman you were even a year ago. Don’t remember the last time you took a deeply meaningful look at your reflection in the mirror.
So, as you begin to grow this relationship with yourself, you’ll want to spend some quality alone time with this woman inside you to get to know her inner needs and desires. You will want to explore your dreams and passions. Sometimes, you just want to sit quietly with yourself and just be.
Now notice what happens for you as you read this. Are you thinking, “Aimee, you’ve really gone off the deep end. What do you want me to do? With whom?”
Just notice the part of you that is resisting it. It’s perfectly normal. We are so used to keeping ourselves and our needs to ourselves and taking care of every other aspect of our lives that paying intentional attention to ourselves actually seems silly and feels uncomfortable. It’s as if we don’t think we’re worthy of attention.
It’s a shame don’t you think?
Sitting through this exercise gives you permission to question those resistant thoughts and feelings of discomfort. Tell them they can come back later if they want after you’re done.
Here’s what I want you to do:
- Block out time on your calendar ~ it’s much easier if you plan ahead. Of course if you’re going on a date with another physical person, you have to set a day and time, right? You are worth the effort to do the same for time with yourself. Extra credit: Pick a regular day and time of the week to spend quality time with yourself and stick to it for the rest of the year.
- Set the Stage ~ If you plan wisely, you will have your space to yourself and no chance for interruptions or distractions. This means no email, phone or texting.
- Create the atmosphere ~ light scented candles or incense, play your favorite music, make a cup of tea. Buy yourself some flowers. (Now you must feel very special!)
- Figure out how you spend your time with yourself ~ some ideas:
- Complete this assignment (or one of the bazillion other personal development activities you “mean” to do).
- Read your favorite novel
- Take a bubble bath
- Make a list of all the qualities you like about yourself
- Your vision story is right
- Create new confirmation
- Recite your new affirmation with intense feeling and joy
- Imagine your dreams as your reality
- Create your vision board
- Read a story from “A Juicy Happy Life”.
I think you get the picture. It’s about treating yourself well. It’s about being kind and loving and caring and compassionate to yourself. Be the example of how you want others to treat you.
If your life lacks joy, love, happiness and contentment, it is up to you to create it for yourself. Then and only then will others follow your lead.
When you do this consistently, when you start spending regular quality time with yourself, you will learn the intimate details of your life. You will fall deeply in love with the amazing woman you are. Just like when you start falling for that special someone, you’ll want to spend more time with yourself and show random acts of loving-kindness.
You will notice that you talk to yourself more positively and treat yourself with more respect. Do you want a little more of that? Yes?
Grab your calendar and make that date.
Go ahead. right now
Don’t make yourself wait another moment!
Can you share with me how it goes?
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