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The Affair Was With Someone Younger And Prettier – How Do I Ever Feel Wanted Again?
I sometimes hear from women who are not only struggling to deal with their husband’s infidelity, but who are trying to process the fact that he cheated on a much younger woman. This will often cause even more pain and insecurity as the wife fears she is fighting a battle that will never be won.
I heard from a wife who said: “It’s bad enough that my husband cheated on me and had an affair. But the fact that he cheated on me with a young woman almost half our age is almost more than I can bear. I feel Like I can never compete with him or even his memory. He broke it off and said he wants us to start over and start over. He says he still loves me and is still attracted to me. Says that other The relationship had nothing to do with the woman’s age and it was just her trying to feel young again. I want to trust her because we have children and I want to save my family. But I wonder how she can be? Attracted to me since she knows he can attract a younger woman and be with her. The other woman is by no means a beauty queen, but she is much younger than me. And I don’t think any man would. Choose an older woman over a younger one. took I am not ugly by any means. People tell me all the time that I’m pretty, but I still don’t. I think I have a chance.” I will tell you my opinion on this in the following article.
I understand why this wife felt that way. I’ve been in this situation and I know that the insecurities from it can make you feel old, tired and worthless. But what I didn’t realize then (and what this wife probably doesn’t realize right now) is that the husband had already given up on the young woman. There was no competition.
What you’re really dealing with is an understandable insecurity that you don’t deserve to live with for the rest of your life. So, in the following article, I’ll outline some ways to overcome insecurities so you can regain the confidence you deserve.
Understand that attraction is not just based on looks and age: While it may be true that looks provide the initial spark of attraction, it’s not someone’s looks (or even their age) that contributes to the long-term success of a relationship. What really matters is compatibility, shared experience, deep understanding and commitment. It’s something that no other woman can touch on you.
I understand feeling insecure right now. I feel the same way. But please understand that who you are and the qualities you possess have not changed a bit. You are the exact same person today as you were before. However, your perception of yourself is understandably shaken. So now, we need to focus on changing your perception to rebuild your confidence.
When you know you are valuable and desirable, you don’t cling to what anyone else thinks: If you remember something from this article, I would like to remember it for you. You are the same worthwhile and valuable person that you were twenty years ago. This wife knew she was attractive. She knew it in her heart and it was confirmed by many others who had no interest in her marriage or her life. So now, he just had to embrace it, claim it, and swear that he wouldn’t let anyone else’s actions shake his belief in himself. He earned his confidence through tenacity and experience. There was no need to allow anyone else to take it from him.
I can’t stress enough how important it is that you claim and embrace your own beauty. You are not competing against anyone else. Your only responsibility is to yourself. If there’s something about your appearance that you don’t like, by all means change it. But if you know in your heart that you are perfectly fine, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Because here lies the truth. If you don’t own your self-worth, your husband won’t be as attracted to you. If you walk around like you have something to apologize for, you’ll continue to struggle with insecurity. But if you love yourself and decide whether or not he can get with the program, you’ll often find that he finds this kind of confidence very attractive.
You have nothing to overcompensate. Both you and your husband have life experiences that mean you are a bit older. It’s hard fought and you don’t need to compete with anyone. I suspect you’ll find that if you accept something special about you and don’t apologize for it, you’ll find that your husband is still attracted to you. But the funny thing is, once you embrace and love yourself, you’ll often find that you’re no longer holding your breath over what he thinks.
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