The Seriousness of Marriage Vows

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The Seriousness of Marriage Vows

Before we discuss marriage vows, let’s first look at marriage itself. Marriage is a contract or a binding contract between a man and a woman in which they commit to love and live with each other. It is a covenant made before God and man. It is therefore a sacred and legal institution and must be both singular and permanent. According to the Bible, the first marriage took place between Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The seriousness of that relationship is evidenced in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (NIV).”

The above represents God’s ideal but society clearly shows that there is often a difference between God’s ideal and reality. Divorce and strained relationships characterize many marriages today. What was meant to be a close and fulfilling relationship has become a horror story for many people.

I would like to identify some of the factors that contribute to this problem. Human nature does not tend to be altruistic and there is little time for selfishness to manifest itself in marriage. One or both individuals are motivated by self-interest and the relationship suffers accordingly. Some people get married with idealistic and unrealistic expectations. Soon they realize that their image of perfection is anything but. A major problem is lack of commitment. A marriage, to survive and thrive, requires two people committed to each other despite internal and external factors.

We are products of our society and the value of keeping a word and truth is reduced. Additionally, our society has an over-preoccupation with sex and pleasure. Both men and women are victims of this view but perhaps the most harmed are women who are truly seeking emotional intimacy but are treated as sex objects instead. The pursuit of pleasure and gratification (as opposed to delayed gratification) often leads to a lack of responsibility. As a Christian and a pastor, my biggest concern is the lack of respect for God. Sadly, some Christians who have made a covenant before God are willing to void that covenant when marriages are in trouble.

For some people, the solution is not to get married. However, marriage is a beautiful institution established by God that can result in personal and emotional fulfillment. I have been married for only twelve years and my life is richer for the experience. In fact, the only decision that was more important than getting married was accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Although some marriages end in divorce, the good news is that most marriages can be restored. A broken marriage has a negative impact on children, family, friends, finances and other things. Those who think that leaving a spouse for another person needs to consider that second marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages and third marriages are even worse.

Wedding vows can vary and some people even make their own. Traditional vows usually include words such as love, respect, cherish, protect, forsake all others, hold only him, in sickness and in health for rich or poor. Such words are powerful if we are prepared to live them. Wedding vows, therefore, are not trivial words recited at a ceremony but should be a philosophy that guides the marriage.

Marriage involves love. Love is a commitment to another person. It is someone else’s decision to care. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives characteristics of love that include patience, kindness, selflessness, forgiveness, truth, faith, and perseverance. Love is also an emotion. People talk about being in love and there is a certain euphoria attached to that statement.

But true love must be distinguished from lust and infatuation. Lust is when the primary motivation in a relationship is sex. Many newlyweds can attest that sex is a big part of a relationship. Sex alone cannot create a committed and balanced relationship. Infatuation is the love experience that drives people to do all kinds of crazy things in marriage. It usually lasts about two years. The couple then has to decide whether to break up or let true love grow and blossom. Lust and infatuation are both selfish behaviors that actually prevent healthy relationships from developing.

Marriage also requires us to respect our spouse. We should treat him or her with respect and not be rude or insulting. The Bible encourages Christians to honor others above themselves, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NIV). Synonyms of cherish include treasure, admire, and take pleasure in. Our wives have value. Besides God, my wife is the most important person to me. He came before my children and, barring death, will be there after the children leave home. The Bible says that we are one body which inspired the apostle Paul to write, “In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28).

We have a duty to protect our wives from physical, verbal or any other form of attack. Throughout history, and I am in no way defending this, men have fought to defend their wives’ honor. Jesus describes the greatest love in which a person is willing to lay down his life for another, as he did on the cross for the redemption of mankind (John 15:13). Although we usually think of men as protectors, some women can be terrible protectors. It is an insult to your marriage vows when you allow your parents to verbally abuse your spouse.

In our overly sexualized culture, having multiple partners is not a big deal. Even in the era of HIV/AIDS, such behavior is still prevalent. It is even possible to have secret affairs through Internet chat rooms and pornographic websites. There are also topics that don’t fit the usual mold, such as emotional topics that stop short of physical intimacy. Marriage vows require that we forsake all others and commit ourselves to our spouse in body and soul. When Jesus said, “But I say to you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28 NIV). We must hold on to him or her only, abandoning all others. Few things are as beautiful as the marriage of childhood sweethearts.

Marriage vows call for commitment despite negative or positive circumstances. It’s easy to stay married when everything is going well but how do we react when problems arise? Do we move away from our spouse? Do we go to the lawyer, curse that he will not get a cent of my money, property or children? It is the ability to overcome challenges that makes us better people and strengthens our marriage.

Marriage vows have no magical properties. Without commitment on the part of both people, they can easily become meaningless speeches. I want to challenge you to honor your marriage vows. Keep these points in mind. Accept that neither you nor your spouse is perfect. In light of this, learn to forgive your partner when they make a mistake or do something to hurt you. Remember to compliment your wife. There was a reason you married this special person. Usually, you have a good man or a good woman. If you can fall out of love, you can come back. Determine to love and be faithful to your spouse until you die. Eliminate the word divorce from your personal dictionary. It is not an option; Many times it’s just a cop out.

Go over your vows with your spouse or choose a new vow if you can’t remember what the original ones were. Write them down, laminate them, frame them, put them somewhere visible to remind you of the importance of your commitment With this, it would be good to renew your vows. It’s like ditching the same person and remarrying. I would even encourage you to have a honeymoon after the renewal. Keep the passion and romance alive. Leave the kids at home or with a babysitter and have a date night. Additionally, keep things sizzling in the bedroom. I remember an anecdote where a child asked his grandmother how old you had to be to stop having sex. Grandma told him, “Child, you have to ask someone older because I’m not there yet.”

Take immediate action to save your marriage if problems arise. Talk to a pastor/pastor, counselor, a trusted friend, or someone who is in a position to listen to you and give you good advice. The danger is when you are too late. You see the signs but do nothing to remedy the ailment that is destroying your marriage. Also, look at yourself. The problem is not just the other person. Learn to talk about everything. The three main problems in marriage are communication, sex, and money.

As a Christian and a pastor, I want to encourage you to invite the Lord Jesus Christ into your marriage. God is the one who instituted marriage and is able to strengthen and preserve you. Marriage vows are serious. To violate them is to violate a covenant before God and man and with your wife. I pray that this article will challenge you to reconsider and recommit to your commitments.

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