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The Role of Perspective in Conflict Resolution
Perspective is a person’s mental view or point of view about a situation. Perspectives vary from person to person due to life experiences, values and belief systems, and often from where a person stands on a particular issue. Being open to someone else’s point of view will increase your chances of a mutually satisfactory conflict resolution. It means being curious and receptive to other perspectives and ideas. Here are 5 ways you can use perspective to improve conflict resolution:
- be curious. To gain perspective, you need to be curious and ask questions. For example, consider what questions remain missing for you in this conflict situation? What do you need to understand about the other person’s point of view? What is their story?
- Listen for perspective. Now that you’ve asked questions with genuine curiosity, it’s time to listen deeply. When the other person tells their story, be fully present and listen without judgment. Suspend your disbelief. If you ask yourself “what planet are they from or how can they believe that rubbish?” You didn’t suspend your disbelief.
- Share your views. Being able to express yourself and your point of view in a way that is heard and understood is just as important as being heard. You can do this with an “I-statement”. Here’s a simple formula: I feel (insert an emotion/feeling) when (describe another person’s behavior). My need (indicate a need, value or behavior that is important to you that is not being met) For example, “I feel frustrated when the work assigned to you is turned in two days late causing me to miss a major deadline. I would like you to start your scheduled work as agreed or I need to hear from you about any delays.”
- Beware of sensory blindness. Expect to miss important visual cues or information right in front of you. When you’re focused on a specific task, overstimulated with mental tasks, or even looking for something you expect to see, it can blind you to key information. When dealing with intense emotional conflict, you need to be open to hearing, seeing and sensing everything around you to reduce this perceptual blindness.
- Close the perception gap. The classic statement “perceived reality” simply means that how people read your intentions, attitudes, and behaviors is directly related to how they will engage with you. If someone says “You’re disrespectful and your humor is offensive” and you say “No, I’m not like that!” , then there is a gap between how you see yourself and how they perceive you. To change this perception, identify behaviors or messages you can consider changing in the future. Use the feedback you receive as an opportunity to align your intentions with how you appear to other people.
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